7/4/2019 12:10

Various oddball scholarship ideas

If I had an extra million dollars over and above what I need for my personal financial security I might decide to fund some scholarships for post-secondary education. (You'd think that would be "tertiary" education but somehow it has never been called that.)

1 The Samson Scholar

Named for the Hebrew judge famous for his great strength but actually more distinctive for other attributes.

• Hard-working as evidenced by maintaining continuous employment (possibly but not necessarily in your father's fields).
• Never cut your hair.
• Skill, or at least an attempt to become skilled, in rhyming trash talk.

2 The Median Scholar

This is to give a free ride to someone who just would not get a big scholarship from traditional sources.

• Class rank of 1/2 in current or prior year; specifically a rank between (count / 2) - 1 and (count / 2) + 1 for small schools or between (count / 2) - (count / 100) and (count / 2) + (count / 100) for large ones.
• also you get to pick whether the count is all students in the class or all students in the school or all students of the same gender or some other plausible category.

3 The Morally Ambidextrous Scholar

For someone who can reach deep inside and draw on the contrary character within.

• First you have to know the story of the creator twins and be able to tell it (at least in summary form); you do not have to be Haudenosaunee but how else would you have this story?
• Then you have to show how your personal character is a mix of the right handed and left handed ways and how accepting both makes you stronger.
• Finally you have to show that the right handed way is the one dominant in you because we do prefer strawberries to stinging nettles.