1. This is an agreement between you, an actual human being, and us, a legal fiction.
2. You agree to do some work for us on our projects in accordance with our policies and purposes.
3. We will not provide you any pay or other compensation, adequate supervision, worker's compensation coverage, access to healthcare insurance, or much of anything else that you would expect if you were an employee.
4. If you should ever get hurt, you are on your own.
5. If you suffer any kind of loss while working for us, you promise not to sue us and not to allow your insurer to sue us. And if your insurer or someone else sues us anyway, you promise to cover our costs and repay our expenses which arise because of that suit.
6. We may purchase a secret report about your background from another legal fiction. We may use the information in that report to color our relationship with you. We may presume that anything in such a report is the truth. We will have no obligation to check it further or to share what we are told with you.
7. You are welcome to enjoy any internal psychological satisfaction you can achieve by working for us, and you might as well because that's the most you're going to get.