• Younger sister: Those shorts don't fit you.
• Older brother: Too big or too small?
• Sister: Too small.
• Brother: I think they're ok.
I was at a house where I am familiar enough for the family's children to ignore my presence, much like a parent or the pet dog. And so I heard this conversation about male clothing style as it occurred in the central hallway.
Sister: Those short don't fit you.
Although I have never had the experience of siblings criticizing my clothing choices, I was already aware that such remarks are made between people who consider themselves close enough to criticize. Still, I have no idea on what basis a younger sister believes it is her purview to enforce style choices on her older brother or anyone else. In fact, I fail to grasp how style is determined. My best guess is that short, unsolicited remarks such as the foregoing are the actual mechanism for determining style.
Brother: Too big or too small?
Clearly, the older boy did not already know that his shorts did not meet whatever criterion his sister applied to them. He was interested enough to ask here to clarify her opinion. Presumably the brother was willing to change his clothing choices if it turned out that he agreed with his sister's opinion about what a better style would be. (There are some boys who would be more likely only to say. "I don't care.")
Too small.
The brother looked down at his shorts. As I said, he seemed open to the possibility of modifying his wardrobe; he listened to his sister's opinion and actively considered it.
I think they're ok.
And then rejected it. Big brother is not bound by the opinions of little sister. And shouldn't be. Big brother does listen to and consider the style positions expressed by little sister.
In actual reality (I'm imagining) this is probably the manner through which clothing style is established. One person offers an opinion -- too big, too small, too orange, too dark, too tight, too loose -- and a second person agrees, or disagrees, or takes the advice under consideration for a later decision. At the very least, the expressed opinion raises the question to a greater level of awareness for the interacting dyad. The process is repeated among many such dyads, until something close to a consensus opinion is attained, however tentatively.
And so it goes. Or so I think, because in six decades I've hardly had the experience at all. (Or have I just not recognized it?) Only seldom have I observed it happening among others.
Style is a game, and not a very important game in the longer view of life, but it is a small piece of the Actual Reality Game. I suspect that more of ARG is played according to the rules of the game of style than I allow for in my reading of the plays. So I observe the game of style when I have it thrown in my face -- it usually takes that much to get my attention to style -- and consider whether this manner of play informs us about how the players will play Actual Reality.